A New Kind of Challenge

Along time ago, I'm talking 4 or 5 years ago, I heard about an online project that really sparked my interest.  It sparked my interest so much that actually did part of the challenge, but I failed to carry out the most important aspect...the actual doing of the challenge.  Isn't that about the dumbest thing you've ever heard?!  Talk about lazy!  Anyways, the project or challenge is entitled "101 Things in 1001 Days".  I wish I could find the original list I typed up, but that computer is long gone and I have no clue if I ever posted it on one of my older blogs.  It would be really interesting to see what a 19 year old wanted to accomplish in 1001 days as compared to my 24 year old self now.  I'm sure there were tons of super cheesy goals on there, and to be honest, I probably never accomplished anything I listed.

I got to thinking about this the other day randomly out of the blue so I decided to look it up and see if this challenge even still existed.  And I was rather shocked to find that the website is still around and the challenge is still going strong.  The official title is Day Zero and I have decided that I am going to embark on this challenge once again, only with the main goal being to actually complete my 101 things to do.  Maybe coming up with tasks is something I can do while I am sitting (im)patiently in the hospital awaiting the arrival of Weston.

It may seem silly to many people that I would start such a challenge right around the birth of my son, but what better time to better myself?!  I will be learning and growing right along side Weston, how neat is that?  I think this will enable me to be a much better mother, wife, and daughter as it is most definitely a growing and learning experience (as is having a child).

I will find a way to incorporate this into my blog.  I'm not so hip and down with all of the Internets, so it might just be an additional blog, or it may just be on here.  I know you can have different pages, but I don't own my own domain name, so I don't think that is possible.  But, I must have this out in Internet land so I can be held accountable for these 101 things I need to do in 1001 days!

Its Almost Time

After my vent on Monday, I guess my prayers were answered.  I went to the doctor today and my induction has been moved up.  I now go in Saturday night around 9:30pm for them to put that gel stuff on your cervix to start the induction process.  My doctor will then be in Sunday morning to break my water and start the pitocin (the devil's brew from what I understand).  And then Weston will be here sometime Sunday.

I have a wide array of emotions running through my body right now.  My mood roller coaster has been out of this world today and I'm not too fond of that.  When he first told me I was ecstatic!  I was practically jumping for joy and literally skipping down the hall out of the doctor's office.  I think I was mainly happy because I don't have to go back there until well after Weston is born.  I love the office and the people there, but I'm really tired of going in.  I have been so many times, everyone knows me so well there, its almost comical.  I was giddy with the excitement of knowing I wouldn't have anymore nerve-wracking appointments, and that I was going to meet my son.  As time wore on, I became scared, petrified, nervous, anxious, etc.  My husband and I went to Chick-Fil-A for breakfast (we've started going to breakfast together after every Wednesday appointment) and I actually started crying while we were in there eating!  Isn't that ridiculous?!

I know it may be stupid to a lot of people, but my animals mean the world to me.  They are my babies and always will be.  I am terrified I will neglect them and not want them anymore once Weston gets here.  My Mom says that would never happen, but I'm so afraid it will.  I'm so afraid I won't have enough love for my child and my animals.  I know this probably doesn't cross any normal mom-to-be's mind, but it sure has mine.  I am going to make a concious effort to put aside time each day to spend with my animals.  Of course that won't be hard with the dogs, they are out all the time and are constantly around me.  I am going to do my best to not get so easily annoyed at them, but that is going to be hard considering they are big clumsy oafs who step all over me and bark at the slightest noise.

I think I have calmed down a bit since earlier this morning.  I'm terrified of childbirth, but I know millions of women have done it before me, and millions will do it after me, I'm really just a number.  I'm hoping to go at it all natural, but I also hope I am aware enough to know my limitations.  I will have my very supportive husband there who I'm sure will kick it up a notch and help me out.

Now I'm off to fold laundry because it needs to get done.  There are about 5 million other tasks, so I need to get it in gear!

A Schedule

I don't know if I ever mentioned it on this particular blog, but towards the beginning of the year (as if we're in the middle!), I was obsessed with creating some type of schedule for myself.  I drove myself crazy with trying to come up with a precise, mapped out schedule I could follow every day.  I think this was in part due to bedrest boredom, and partly my way of dealing with mommy anxiety.  Somewhere along the line I just gave up and sort of sank into a depression.  I need a schedule.  Maybe nothing strict, but something to depend on day in and day out.  I would sit at the computer for hours upon hours, waiting for my work to send me work, to paranoid to get up because I figured the second I did, they would send me something they needed ASAP and I would be in trouble.  I'm slowly getting over that though...if its an emergency, they can call my cell, or do it themselves.

So last night, before I went to bed, I made myself a little schedule to follow today.  And so far it has gone wonderfully.  I also find myself not being quite so tired during the day...maybe its the constant nature of doing something and knowing I still have more to do that is keeping me somewhat energized.  Who really knows, all I do know is that I'm irritated with myself for taking so long to get this going.  Right before the birth of my son is probably not the best timing in the world.  And maybe its his impending birth that has caused this sudden scheduling frenzy.  There is so much that needs to be done before he gets here, and I want to make sure I get it all done so I won't be an overly stressed out new Mommy.

I am not dumb enough to think my little schedule will last much past this week, if it even lasts through this week, but I am very pleased to see that creating myself a little schedule made me feel 100 times better than I have in quite awhile.  I encourage anyone and everyone, whether you stay at home or go out to work, to create a schedule for yourself.  You will be surprised at how efficient and how much you actually are able to get accomplished!

A New Level of Frustration

I really wanted to be induced on Wednesday.  Even though I am truly terrified of labor and childbirth, and even though I know absolutely nothing about babies/children, I really wanted to be induced on Wednesday.  I would have been happy with Friday, but no, its Monday.  So I have a whole week to wait until I can be induced.  I am hoping at my appointment on Wednesday I will have progressed and dilated to more than 1 cm and he will move up the induction.  But I'm not holding my breath.

I'm miserable and whiney and I complain too much.  I'm also just ready to meet my son.  I'm also ready to sleep, though I know that won't happen with a newborn baby in the house.  I can't stand my attitude right now.  I was OK for most of the day, but as the day wore on and I became more tired, depression set in, as it so commonly does in the night hours for me, and now I'm just one grumpy momma!  My poor family and animals.  I am completely out of patience with pretty much everyone and everything, so I have warned everyone to not take it personal.

Tomorrow my mission is to eat tons of spicy food!!!  I don't like spicy food, and there isn't any in this house, so I'm not sure how that's going to work, but its a goal nevertheless!  There are also a few more "tricks" I may try, but those are not up for discussion.

I plan on keeping myself super busy tomorrow.  I will have tons of work to do, pictures to take, housework to get done, and animals to take care of.  So hopefully that will keep my mind off the fact that I will remain pregnant for another week.  And now, I am done whining!  I am grateful for my precious son, family, and animals.  God is good and everything will work out!

Our Menu - Week of 2/15/2010

Well, there isn't much going on since I'm supposed to be induced sometime this week, hopefully Wednesday.  I really only planned 2 meals for the week, but with my luck I probably should have planned all 5 :).  For other great menu ideas, head on over to Org Junkie.

Monday: Hamburger mac & tomato with whatever you can find.

Tuesday: Pork chops with fried potatoes and green beans.

I am going to head off to my doctor's appointment shortly, so we will know then if I should have come up with more food.

Blessed

I know I definitely don't tell him enough, but I truly am blessed to have Victor as my husband.  Even though he drives me crazy and can be a little butt time and time again, he always proves he loves me and takes such good care of me.  We have been together for a little over 5 years and married for the last 3, and he never fails to surprise me.  Tonight he brought me home some pink roses, a sweet little card, and some Reese's because they are my favorite candy.  He is so sweet and caring!  We both think Valentine's Day is nothing but a Hallmark Holiday, but for him to go out of his way to do something nice like that meant so much to me.

I sometimes feel like I don't appreciate him enough, even though I try really hard to be a good, dedicated wife.  He goes to work, lately 6 days a week, and works insane hours to provide for me and his son, while I sit at home and do as much as I can to welcome him home, which isn't much if you ask me.  He works so hard and I really appreciate his effort.  He is truly one of the sweetest and most genuine people I know, and for that I am truly blessed and thankful.

I also feel like I am blessed to have both sides of his family as my own now.  I may not always agree with things people do, but that is part of life.  I have recently decided that I have a much too negative attitude and need to learn to accept people for their differences and appreciate them in my life.  He has a great family, for the most part (hey, don't we all?!), and I really enjoy their company.  They have all been nothing but nice to me (excluding one person) and very accepting of me, and I'm really thankful for that.

I guess I am getting a little "thoughtful" since I will be having my first child in the next few days.  I want to raise my son with a sweet disposition and to always be respectful and caring towards others.  I want him to be grateful for what he has and cherish his family for what they are, not despise them for what they could be.  In order to foster these thoughts and actions, I need to change my ways of thinking and my actions.  I've been trying very hard to do these things lately, I just hope I can be the ideal Mom for my precious baby boy.

Snow!

I have seen more snow in the past 2 months combined than I had my previous 24 years...at least that I know of.  It has been awesome!  I would post pictures if I weren't so lazy and tired.  I actually just sat down for my evening snack of Cheerios so I can take my blood pressure medicine, but I did take pictures, its just a matter of uploading them I suppose.  Anyways, back to the snow...it's basically been blizzard like conditions since 3am!  I woke up at 2:45 to use the restroom and looked outside and there was nothing.  By the time my Mom left for work sometime around 5, she said there had been tons of snow.  We have had well over 7 inches of snow today and that is the most I have ever seen!  The dogs have wanted to do nothing but play in it, but that is kind of hard considering I can't really let them.  It was kind of frustrating though because they would whine and whine to go outside making me think they needed to potty when they just wanted to play.  They barely slept at all today due to their excitement.  I was hoping Victor would get home in time to take them outside to romp around and let me get some good pictures, but no such luck.

I do have to admit though that the snow is a bit frustrating.  I am not used to this weather, therefore I have no clothes for this type of weather.  I have been soaked from head to toe today.  I actually ended up wearing my husbands shoes to take the dogs out because they slip on very easy (he has much bigger feet than I do) and don't have holes in them like my crocs.  And who knew snow was so dang slippery!  I almost bit the dust several times, especially with my dogs practically dragging me out to the front to play.  I did throw some snowballs at them.  Rocky caught one in his mouth and just as quickly spit it out...poor cold puppy teeth.  They were trying to bury their heads in the snow and just being goofy!  But, I'm glad its stopping at midnight.  And to think, I want to live up North?!?!

We took Brianna to the Vet today.  She has been acting strange the last few days, throwing up a lot and being lethargic.  The final straw was when she peed in the office and was laying really close to it.  I knew something was wrong so I made her an appointment thinking the meterologists were wrong about the weather (for once, they weren't!) for today at 5:30.  Since my Mom left work at 2 and made it home a little before 3, I decided to call and make sure they were still going to be open in time for her appointment, and then I went ahead and asked if we could come in early, and lo and behold that's what they wanted!  So we made the journey and ran into some ice and very slushy roads.  The snow was so deep I would sink into it well above my ankles which was very frustrating.  Anyways, we were trying to turn in off the main street and apparently the drive had iced over and there was a bit of a hill so we started going backwards.  I freaked out, but my Mom stayed calm and as soon as all the cars had passed, she backed up and we went in another way.  That was really our only scary moment, but that was scary enough!  Poor Brianna, she has a really bad bladder infection and her allergies are really flaring up right now.  So she got a shot of cortizone with antibiotics, and then 10 days worth of antibiotics.  Apparently her bladder infection was so bad it was causing her to throw up.  I feel horrible, the symptoms literally just started showing up this week and it was already that bad.  Her white blood cell count was at 46,000 and normal is anything below 19,000, but the doctor said that was mainly due to her allergies.  Poor thing has allergies just like her Momma.  I am thinking about keeping her on cortizone pills throughout the year to keep those in check, but I need to research that a little more.

With all of this excitement, I am absolutely exhausted today!  I have no energy to do anything at all.  I'm hoping I get another burst of energy tomorrow, but I have homework I need to do (and work ahead), so who knows what all will get done around here.

I hope everyone is staying warm!