Monday, January 25, 2010


I am absolutely petrified right now.  Of child birth and of being a Mommy.  I have no idea what I am getting myself into.  I'm excited but scared.  I plan on going all natural for several reasons.  I'm not so afraid of the contractions as I am of the pushing and actual birth.  I think that will be extremely painful.

When I'm nervous, I make lists.  Here is my list of things I need to pack:
  • chapstick
  • tennis ball and other massaging instruments
  • hairbands
  • socks
  • toothbrush and small tube of toothpaste
  • conditioner (shampoo dries my hair out really bad, so I only use it sparingly) in a travel size container
  • body soap in a travel size container
  • washcloth
  • face wash
  • deodorant
  • my own towels
  • my own pillow(s)
  • some type of sleep mask
  • camera and charger
  • video camera with extra tapes and charger
  • ipod and accesories
  • laptop?
  • nursing bras
  • nursing PJs and comfortable pant bottoms
  • nursing pillow
  • nursing cover
  • cream for the boobs
  • nursing pads
  • baby book
  • dermoplast/epicream
  • tucks pads
  • depends?
  • under garments
  • going home outfit
  • list of people to notify about the birth
  • cell phone and charger
  • notepad and pen
  • thank you cards?
I'm also making Victor download the contraction master application for his iphone.  Because when I'm nervous, I plan.  Obsessively.  I tend to get this kind of nervous after I hang out with my friend who has two beautiful little girls.  For some reason being with a baby scares me!  I remember leaving the hospital after my Mom and visited her when her second daughter was born back in early November and being so stressed out I started crying.  I was just so overwhelmed and scared for what I was about to experience.  And the way I deal with this is to plan and make lists and act like a neurotic freak.  Such is the life of me!

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