Finding my place

I am trying to figure out my niche, so to speak, in the bloggy world.  I'm a Mom, an animal lover, a wife, a daughter, a student, a homemaker, an employee, etc.  I want to write about all of my experiences, no matter how insignificant or trite they might be.  But where does that put me in this huge blogosphere?  This I'm not sure of.  I also know I hate my blog name.  I chose it when I was bored and pregnant and I just didn't have the brain power to think of anything else.  Defining my niche will help me choose a name, but as I said, I'm stumped.

I am thinking about purchasing my own domain, I just need to figure out a good name and then learn all this html stuff.  I just don't have patience for learning sometimes.  Which is why I probably chose such a cheesy blog name, laziness!  This is acturally a recurring theme in my life, but that is a totally different blog post.

In the next few days, I will be working on this, and possibly moving my blog to Wordpress since I've heard some great things about the features.  I'm not sure if I'm up to that challenge, especially since if I happen to have any readers, this would get confusing.  I just want to invest more and get more from my blogging experience.

In Which I Let Go

In November 2009 I traded in my 2008 Camry for a 2010 Corolla.  This was a financial decision as we had tons of medical bills coming up.  I was so incredibly upset and depressed because even though I didn't pick out my Camry, it was MY car.  As I've said before, we had no insurance and we'd just gotten some bad news financially, so we felt this was the right decision for us.  In reality, it wasn't really necessary as the payments weren't lowered by much.  To be honest, I've spent a lot of time dwelling on this and being very bitter towards my husband because he "pushed" this on me.  I've also been bitter towards him because I felt like I had to give everything up while he gave up nothing.

I decided tonight that I am going to let go of all of this negative energy and just finally be at peace with the decisions we have made.  There is nothing I can change and there is no sense in dwelling on what's already happenend.  My husband meant me no harm and I'm being foolish for continuing to hash this out 3 months later.

Letting go is a wonderful thing.  My mind will be clear and at ease and my relationship with my husband will be that much better.  This is my new mantra for life in general.  I'm not sure why I'm just now realizing I need to do this, but I truly think this will help with my mentality and overall mood.  Plus it will help me teach my son wonderful traits :).

So here's to letting go in 2010!

A Controversial Blog

I am a democrat.  I was born and raised as such.  There was a brief period in 2000 when I chose to cheer for George W., but that was to irritate my Dad, and because he is from Texas as I am.  After that, I realize why children are not allowed to vote, they sometimes don't make sound and rational decisions (i.e. trying to piss your parents off).  Anyways, with that said, I'm sure you all have me figured out and pegged.  I'm a sacrilegious heathen who believes in abortion, hates all of the American soldiers, completely lacks support for my Country, etc.  And in some cases you'd be right, but not in the instance of the things I just mentioned.

I am totally and completely against abortion.  While I am a democrat, I was raised Catholic (I know, a complete contradiction) and went to a Catholic schoole for 8 years.  I do not believe in abortion in any situation.  My Mom actually disagrees with me on this topic, so we don't really discuss it.  I do believe the government has every right to step in and make abortion illegal, afterall, it is murder.

Another thing I "go against the grain on" is the war.  Or, more specifically, the soldiers fighting this war.  Don't get me wrong, I am completely against the war.  I have my opinions on it and I'm sure no one really wants to hear them, so I'll keep that off here (more controversy than I can handle for one post).  However, I strongly support the troops fighting this war.  They leave their families and loved ones behind to keep me safe, and for that I truly respect them!  These people make huge sacrifices, including their lives, quite often, and that makes them all heros!  While I don't support the war they are fighting, I support them as humans for protecting me when they have no obligation.  They are truly the spirit of our Country.  This has become even more real for me since I have had Weston.  I want him to live in a Country where he doesn't have to worry about terrorist attacks, and these soldiers are trying to make that a reality for him.

I bring this up because I was reading a blog where someone was discussing soldiers.  I actually read a lot blogs of military wives for some strange reason.  Anyways, I really wanted to voice my thoughts on this matter.  I believe we should all support our soldiers, whether we agree with the war or not!

Bills

Ick is all I can say.  I'm being brutally honest here, so you should all know that I have a lot of bills.  This is due to my pregnancy, not because I'm a big spender.  My husband is the big spender, but that's neither here nor there :).

I have 7 different bills that are huge, all from my pregnancy and deliverly, not including the one I did actually pay off today.  They are not cheap by any means.  I can't believe how expensive everything is.  Actually I can, but I don't think it should be this way.  At least every other place has done the 20% cash paying discount, but they still really suck.  I actually need some kind of planner or journal to keep track of the payments.  I need to insure I have all of this for our taxes next year.

I am doing very small payments.  I'm talking $20 a month on most.  I plan on paying more at some point, but I did as little as I felt comfortable with to ensure I can pay them every month.

And of course, we can't forget all of the other "regular" bills a family has.  We have the electric bill, mortgage, gas bill, water bill, 2 car payments, student loans, cable/internet bill, and cell phone.  Whew, I think that's all.  All of this plus groceries and gas, and I am completely overhwhelmed and stressed out.  I am working on a few things to make our lives not quite so stressful, but I'm not sure how those things are going to pan out.  I'd love to get rid of the cable, but the husband won't allow that.  Plus, since I'm home all day, I do need some entertainment ocassionally.

Sorry about the vent.  I'm going to purchase (???!?!?!) some of Dave Ramsey's books and hope we can be debt free soon, though I highly doubt it.  Wish us luck :)!

The blog that will never be

I was going to write a terribly long post on my current frustrations.  However that isn't productive, and could potentially hurt people's feelings, so I am choosing to avoid this right now.  Just know, I'm very frustrated right now, but I'm pretty sure this will change.  Instead, I want to channel my frustration into productive activities, and believe me there are hundreds to do around this here casa.

There is so much I need to get done.  Some things are short term, like completing this semester; and some are long term, like getting our finances in order and living debt free using Dave Ramsey's ideas.  I guess I could put these on my 101 goals in 1001 days.  So maybe my goal for this week is to start working on my goals for the next few years.  Huh, a goal for goals, how odd!  I feel like this will be much more productive than dwelling on my annoyances/frustrations.

Weston is doing well, of course.  He had his first visit with the Easter Bunny yesterday.  He was absolutely adorable!  Please ignore me!

Here's a better view of his little outfit

I love this little boy!

Almost 5 Weeks

So Weston has been on this Earth for almost 5 weeks.  I apologize for the lack of blogging, but holy moly it's hart taking care of a baby and all of my millions of animals.  He has these days where he absolutely doesn't want to be put down, and as you can imagine, that makes it very hard to do anything, much less blog.

My priorities have definitely shifted, to say the least.  My life absolutely revolves around my little man.  Everything I do is for him.  Also, I'm exhausted!  The every 3 hour feeding schedule may just be the death of me.  OK, it won't, but it is really hard.  Those days he is super fussy are also quite hard on me.  But, I love him so much.  Even at his worst, he is still a great baby.

I almost have the birth story completed, though I don't know if I will post it.  That is something very personal and special, so I'm still on the fence about that.  Sorry to leave you hanging.

I really don't have anything interesting to report.  I spend all my time with Weston, and while I think he is the most interesting thing ever, some might not agree :).  I will say this much though, he is incredibly advanced for his age.  He was trying to lift his head before he was a week old, and has been able to fully lift it since he was 2 weeks.  He's also been smiling and laughing for about a week now.  He also is trying to crawl already!  He can move the legs, its just the arms that are throwing him off.  He will have it soon though!  I'm so amazed and proud of my baby.  He really is perfect.

With that, I'm going to end since he is probably about to stop fussing since his Dad put him in his swing to take the dogs out.  Hopefully it won't be so long for my next post.

Being a Mom

Weston Michael arrived on 2/21/10 at 1:29pm after 7 hours of labor.  Yes, it was quick, but it was mighty painful.  He weighed 6lbs 10 oz and was 20.5 inches long.  I'll try to write the delivery story sometime soon, though who knows when because its apparently really hard being a Mom.  I know that's common knowledge, but I have no energy or desire to do ANYTHING at all.  I don't want to answer my phone, I don't want to get on the Internet, I don't want to watch TV, I don't want to do anything at all.

I've been very lucky on many fronts.  First, Weston is a great baby.  I say that even though he has been quite fussy today, he seems to have a tummy problem right now, but I believe that is normal.  Second, my husband stayed home with me all last week, which was a life saver.  Third, my Mom is staying with me all this week, which is another life saver!  I'm actually dreading next week when I'm with him alone, though I've heard that is also a common fear of new Moms.

We ended up staying at the hospital until Tuesday because he has a thing called stridor, he became jaundiced, and he had low blood sugar when he was born.  In order to save us money (since we have no insurance) we did a thing called rooming in where they let us stay for free, but I lost all nursing care once that happened.  Let me tell you, I definitely preferred having the nursing care.  I hated the other side of the hospital and I felt very alone.  It was quite depressing, so I was very happy to leave Tuesday.

We took him to the doctor on Thursday to check his bilirubin levels for his jaundice and it was at 14.7, so they had us come back on Friday to have them checked again, which they had then gone down to 13.  My poor boy has been poked in the foot SO much.  He had to have his blood sugar tested before he ate from Sunday to Monday, and then of course the blood tests to check his bilirubin levels.  I have to take him to get his 2nd newborn screen this Friday and then to his 2 week checkup...I am looking forward to neither.  Luckily my Mom will be with me to help me.

I really love being his Mom, he's an awesome baby.

A New Kind of Challenge

Along time ago, I'm talking 4 or 5 years ago, I heard about an online project that really sparked my interest.  It sparked my interest so much that actually did part of the challenge, but I failed to carry out the most important aspect...the actual doing of the challenge.  Isn't that about the dumbest thing you've ever heard?!  Talk about lazy!  Anyways, the project or challenge is entitled "101 Things in 1001 Days".  I wish I could find the original list I typed up, but that computer is long gone and I have no clue if I ever posted it on one of my older blogs.  It would be really interesting to see what a 19 year old wanted to accomplish in 1001 days as compared to my 24 year old self now.  I'm sure there were tons of super cheesy goals on there, and to be honest, I probably never accomplished anything I listed.

I got to thinking about this the other day randomly out of the blue so I decided to look it up and see if this challenge even still existed.  And I was rather shocked to find that the website is still around and the challenge is still going strong.  The official title is Day Zero and I have decided that I am going to embark on this challenge once again, only with the main goal being to actually complete my 101 things to do.  Maybe coming up with tasks is something I can do while I am sitting (im)patiently in the hospital awaiting the arrival of Weston.

It may seem silly to many people that I would start such a challenge right around the birth of my son, but what better time to better myself?!  I will be learning and growing right along side Weston, how neat is that?  I think this will enable me to be a much better mother, wife, and daughter as it is most definitely a growing and learning experience (as is having a child).

I will find a way to incorporate this into my blog.  I'm not so hip and down with all of the Internets, so it might just be an additional blog, or it may just be on here.  I know you can have different pages, but I don't own my own domain name, so I don't think that is possible.  But, I must have this out in Internet land so I can be held accountable for these 101 things I need to do in 1001 days!

Its Almost Time

After my vent on Monday, I guess my prayers were answered.  I went to the doctor today and my induction has been moved up.  I now go in Saturday night around 9:30pm for them to put that gel stuff on your cervix to start the induction process.  My doctor will then be in Sunday morning to break my water and start the pitocin (the devil's brew from what I understand).  And then Weston will be here sometime Sunday.

I have a wide array of emotions running through my body right now.  My mood roller coaster has been out of this world today and I'm not too fond of that.  When he first told me I was ecstatic!  I was practically jumping for joy and literally skipping down the hall out of the doctor's office.  I think I was mainly happy because I don't have to go back there until well after Weston is born.  I love the office and the people there, but I'm really tired of going in.  I have been so many times, everyone knows me so well there, its almost comical.  I was giddy with the excitement of knowing I wouldn't have anymore nerve-wracking appointments, and that I was going to meet my son.  As time wore on, I became scared, petrified, nervous, anxious, etc.  My husband and I went to Chick-Fil-A for breakfast (we've started going to breakfast together after every Wednesday appointment) and I actually started crying while we were in there eating!  Isn't that ridiculous?!

I know it may be stupid to a lot of people, but my animals mean the world to me.  They are my babies and always will be.  I am terrified I will neglect them and not want them anymore once Weston gets here.  My Mom says that would never happen, but I'm so afraid it will.  I'm so afraid I won't have enough love for my child and my animals.  I know this probably doesn't cross any normal mom-to-be's mind, but it sure has mine.  I am going to make a concious effort to put aside time each day to spend with my animals.  Of course that won't be hard with the dogs, they are out all the time and are constantly around me.  I am going to do my best to not get so easily annoyed at them, but that is going to be hard considering they are big clumsy oafs who step all over me and bark at the slightest noise.

I think I have calmed down a bit since earlier this morning.  I'm terrified of childbirth, but I know millions of women have done it before me, and millions will do it after me, I'm really just a number.  I'm hoping to go at it all natural, but I also hope I am aware enough to know my limitations.  I will have my very supportive husband there who I'm sure will kick it up a notch and help me out.

Now I'm off to fold laundry because it needs to get done.  There are about 5 million other tasks, so I need to get it in gear!

A Schedule

I don't know if I ever mentioned it on this particular blog, but towards the beginning of the year (as if we're in the middle!), I was obsessed with creating some type of schedule for myself.  I drove myself crazy with trying to come up with a precise, mapped out schedule I could follow every day.  I think this was in part due to bedrest boredom, and partly my way of dealing with mommy anxiety.  Somewhere along the line I just gave up and sort of sank into a depression.  I need a schedule.  Maybe nothing strict, but something to depend on day in and day out.  I would sit at the computer for hours upon hours, waiting for my work to send me work, to paranoid to get up because I figured the second I did, they would send me something they needed ASAP and I would be in trouble.  I'm slowly getting over that though...if its an emergency, they can call my cell, or do it themselves.

So last night, before I went to bed, I made myself a little schedule to follow today.  And so far it has gone wonderfully.  I also find myself not being quite so tired during the day...maybe its the constant nature of doing something and knowing I still have more to do that is keeping me somewhat energized.  Who really knows, all I do know is that I'm irritated with myself for taking so long to get this going.  Right before the birth of my son is probably not the best timing in the world.  And maybe its his impending birth that has caused this sudden scheduling frenzy.  There is so much that needs to be done before he gets here, and I want to make sure I get it all done so I won't be an overly stressed out new Mommy.

I am not dumb enough to think my little schedule will last much past this week, if it even lasts through this week, but I am very pleased to see that creating myself a little schedule made me feel 100 times better than I have in quite awhile.  I encourage anyone and everyone, whether you stay at home or go out to work, to create a schedule for yourself.  You will be surprised at how efficient and how much you actually are able to get accomplished!

A New Level of Frustration

I really wanted to be induced on Wednesday.  Even though I am truly terrified of labor and childbirth, and even though I know absolutely nothing about babies/children, I really wanted to be induced on Wednesday.  I would have been happy with Friday, but no, its Monday.  So I have a whole week to wait until I can be induced.  I am hoping at my appointment on Wednesday I will have progressed and dilated to more than 1 cm and he will move up the induction.  But I'm not holding my breath.

I'm miserable and whiney and I complain too much.  I'm also just ready to meet my son.  I'm also ready to sleep, though I know that won't happen with a newborn baby in the house.  I can't stand my attitude right now.  I was OK for most of the day, but as the day wore on and I became more tired, depression set in, as it so commonly does in the night hours for me, and now I'm just one grumpy momma!  My poor family and animals.  I am completely out of patience with pretty much everyone and everything, so I have warned everyone to not take it personal.

Tomorrow my mission is to eat tons of spicy food!!!  I don't like spicy food, and there isn't any in this house, so I'm not sure how that's going to work, but its a goal nevertheless!  There are also a few more "tricks" I may try, but those are not up for discussion.

I plan on keeping myself super busy tomorrow.  I will have tons of work to do, pictures to take, housework to get done, and animals to take care of.  So hopefully that will keep my mind off the fact that I will remain pregnant for another week.  And now, I am done whining!  I am grateful for my precious son, family, and animals.  God is good and everything will work out!

Our Menu - Week of 2/15/2010

Well, there isn't much going on since I'm supposed to be induced sometime this week, hopefully Wednesday.  I really only planned 2 meals for the week, but with my luck I probably should have planned all 5 :).  For other great menu ideas, head on over to Org Junkie.

Monday: Hamburger mac & tomato with whatever you can find.

Tuesday: Pork chops with fried potatoes and green beans.

I am going to head off to my doctor's appointment shortly, so we will know then if I should have come up with more food.

Blessed

I know I definitely don't tell him enough, but I truly am blessed to have Victor as my husband.  Even though he drives me crazy and can be a little butt time and time again, he always proves he loves me and takes such good care of me.  We have been together for a little over 5 years and married for the last 3, and he never fails to surprise me.  Tonight he brought me home some pink roses, a sweet little card, and some Reese's because they are my favorite candy.  He is so sweet and caring!  We both think Valentine's Day is nothing but a Hallmark Holiday, but for him to go out of his way to do something nice like that meant so much to me.

I sometimes feel like I don't appreciate him enough, even though I try really hard to be a good, dedicated wife.  He goes to work, lately 6 days a week, and works insane hours to provide for me and his son, while I sit at home and do as much as I can to welcome him home, which isn't much if you ask me.  He works so hard and I really appreciate his effort.  He is truly one of the sweetest and most genuine people I know, and for that I am truly blessed and thankful.

I also feel like I am blessed to have both sides of his family as my own now.  I may not always agree with things people do, but that is part of life.  I have recently decided that I have a much too negative attitude and need to learn to accept people for their differences and appreciate them in my life.  He has a great family, for the most part (hey, don't we all?!), and I really enjoy their company.  They have all been nothing but nice to me (excluding one person) and very accepting of me, and I'm really thankful for that.

I guess I am getting a little "thoughtful" since I will be having my first child in the next few days.  I want to raise my son with a sweet disposition and to always be respectful and caring towards others.  I want him to be grateful for what he has and cherish his family for what they are, not despise them for what they could be.  In order to foster these thoughts and actions, I need to change my ways of thinking and my actions.  I've been trying very hard to do these things lately, I just hope I can be the ideal Mom for my precious baby boy.

Snow!

I have seen more snow in the past 2 months combined than I had my previous 24 years...at least that I know of.  It has been awesome!  I would post pictures if I weren't so lazy and tired.  I actually just sat down for my evening snack of Cheerios so I can take my blood pressure medicine, but I did take pictures, its just a matter of uploading them I suppose.  Anyways, back to the snow...it's basically been blizzard like conditions since 3am!  I woke up at 2:45 to use the restroom and looked outside and there was nothing.  By the time my Mom left for work sometime around 5, she said there had been tons of snow.  We have had well over 7 inches of snow today and that is the most I have ever seen!  The dogs have wanted to do nothing but play in it, but that is kind of hard considering I can't really let them.  It was kind of frustrating though because they would whine and whine to go outside making me think they needed to potty when they just wanted to play.  They barely slept at all today due to their excitement.  I was hoping Victor would get home in time to take them outside to romp around and let me get some good pictures, but no such luck.

I do have to admit though that the snow is a bit frustrating.  I am not used to this weather, therefore I have no clothes for this type of weather.  I have been soaked from head to toe today.  I actually ended up wearing my husbands shoes to take the dogs out because they slip on very easy (he has much bigger feet than I do) and don't have holes in them like my crocs.  And who knew snow was so dang slippery!  I almost bit the dust several times, especially with my dogs practically dragging me out to the front to play.  I did throw some snowballs at them.  Rocky caught one in his mouth and just as quickly spit it out...poor cold puppy teeth.  They were trying to bury their heads in the snow and just being goofy!  But, I'm glad its stopping at midnight.  And to think, I want to live up North?!?!

We took Brianna to the Vet today.  She has been acting strange the last few days, throwing up a lot and being lethargic.  The final straw was when she peed in the office and was laying really close to it.  I knew something was wrong so I made her an appointment thinking the meterologists were wrong about the weather (for once, they weren't!) for today at 5:30.  Since my Mom left work at 2 and made it home a little before 3, I decided to call and make sure they were still going to be open in time for her appointment, and then I went ahead and asked if we could come in early, and lo and behold that's what they wanted!  So we made the journey and ran into some ice and very slushy roads.  The snow was so deep I would sink into it well above my ankles which was very frustrating.  Anyways, we were trying to turn in off the main street and apparently the drive had iced over and there was a bit of a hill so we started going backwards.  I freaked out, but my Mom stayed calm and as soon as all the cars had passed, she backed up and we went in another way.  That was really our only scary moment, but that was scary enough!  Poor Brianna, she has a really bad bladder infection and her allergies are really flaring up right now.  So she got a shot of cortizone with antibiotics, and then 10 days worth of antibiotics.  Apparently her bladder infection was so bad it was causing her to throw up.  I feel horrible, the symptoms literally just started showing up this week and it was already that bad.  Her white blood cell count was at 46,000 and normal is anything below 19,000, but the doctor said that was mainly due to her allergies.  Poor thing has allergies just like her Momma.  I am thinking about keeping her on cortizone pills throughout the year to keep those in check, but I need to research that a little more.

With all of this excitement, I am absolutely exhausted today!  I have no energy to do anything at all.  I'm hoping I get another burst of energy tomorrow, but I have homework I need to do (and work ahead), so who knows what all will get done around here.

I hope everyone is staying warm!

Various Topics to be Considered

1.) I went to the doctor today and found out I will almost 100% be induced sometime next week.  I am excited and nervous.  I can't believe I'm about to be a Mom.  I also can't believe what I'm about to go through.  I go back on Monday to be checked again since there isn't much progress going on, and to check on my blood pressure.  He really doesn't want to induce unless I'm dilating, but if my blood pressure is to high then he will no matter what.

2.) That being said, THERE IS SO MUCH TO DO AROUND THIS HOUSE!!!!  There are so many rooms that need to be completed, and still some stuff I need to buy before my little man gets here.  I don't know how I (we?) am going to get all of this done in less than a week.  I had a master list, but now I think I need to go through my list again and get even more stuff added and completed, including quite a bit of homework.  Have I mentioned I hate homework!

3.) My husband has been working horrible hours and its really upsetting me.  I miss him so much and I feel so bad for him.  After my appointment we went and ate breakfast together at Braums, which has become our little tradition.  He is now at work.  I almost cried when he left, which I know is pathetic, but I really miss him!

4.) Thankfully I did get a pedicure yesterday so my feet and toes will be in tip-top shape for delivery.  Yes, I am shallow and was very concerned about this.  While I was there, I was told in no uncertain terms that I needed a facial since my face was so broken out.  I did not get one and my feelings are still a little hurt.

5.) I got my Site to Store order from Wal Mart yesterday, now I just have to get everything put up and in order.

6.) I also need to go through all of the baby clothes and get them organized.  I'm feeling overwhelmed by this sine he has an entire crib full of clothes.  Oh well, it must be done.  When, I'm not entirely sure.

7.) In regards to the menu for this week, it is going to have to be altered due to the fact that the hamburger meat was going to go bad yesterday so I froze it.  I was going to make 2 meals with that meat, but it was going to be complicated to figure it out due to the necessary freezing.  I'm irritated by this, so I'm not sure what we will do.  I am not a fan of frozen hambuer meat as a staple in a food, it tastes a bit odd to me.

8.) I am so incredibly tired!  I know this isn't exactly new, but I am whipped.  I've been cooking the majority of our meals and doing the cleanup, and then not getting to bed until well after 11.  Then I toss and turn due to hip pain and having to go to the restroom.  I'm thinking a nap looks good for today!

9.) The pilot light on our hot water heater went out last night.  Victor tired to relight it but couldn't get it, so me being the wonder woman I am, I ended up getting it done.  But it had apparently been off for quite some time so it never warmed up last night.  I didn't get my shower and he had to take a freezing cold shower.  I also had to rinse dishes in cold water, which doesn't work so well.  I was very frustrated as was he.

10.) Finally, I hope our roof gets fixed ASAP.  I've faxed my proposal acceptance to the company, now I'm just waiting to hear back.  Unfortunately, as most of the US is also experiencing, we are in for crappy weather.  I don't know if we are going to get it fixed before that all starts up...probably not.  Such is the life of a homeowner.

Our Menu - Week of 2/8/2010

This is a little late in going up since I have been a complete slacker lately.  Actually, my mind wanders quite a bit and I forget easily.  Anyways, last week didn't go quite as planned.  But we didn't eat out, so that was a plus.  I actually let the pork chops go bad sitting in the Fridge, which irritates me beyond belief.  For other great meal plans, head on over to Org Junkie.

Monday: BBQ baked chicken with cabbage and potato salad.

Tuesday: Hamburgers / sausages with french fries and a salad.

Wednesday: Shake n' Bake pork chops with broccoli and mashed potatoes.

Thursday: Skillet Meatloaves with green beans and fried potatoes.

Friday: Grilled cheese / pb&j with a salad.

Doesn't all of that sound oh so yummy?!  I will tell you I was really disappointed in the BBQ sauce.  I used a recipe from Food Network (I'd link to it but I can't seem to find it right now) and it was WAY too sweet.  I think it was the apple cider vinegar that sent it over the edge considering there was 3 tablespoons of molasses and brown sugar.  I am going to tweak this recipe because I like the idea of making my own sauces.

Now I think I need to work on recipes for my lunch!  I am not a fan of leftovers at all, so I need to get creative with my lunches...any suggestions?  I don't like anything that is too taxing, so fancy is probably out.  That should be a goal of mine in the next few weeks... you know while I'm trying to have a baby.

When it rains, it pours

And this should be taken in THE most literal sense possible because my roof is leaking again.  Only this time I am home alone with a sick kitty and naughty dogs and I lost my cool for a few minutes.  I'm all better of course, but I'm very frazzled and exhausted.

I'm mainly worried about my cat.  She has been throwing up so much lately and I'm not sure why.  I want to give her a very good bath and brush her out really well to see if that helps.  She is a long haired cat, but it doesn't look like hairballs (TMI?  Sorry!).  We really don't have the money to take her to the Vet for extensive testing.  I love her dearly and just want her better.  She also has very bad allergies so her eyes look horrible.  We found some medicine so we are giving that to her and they are starting to clear up.  She's such a precious baby, the sweetest cat you'll ever meet, and I hate seeing her like this.  Anyways, this is a big stressor in my life right now.  My husband keeps yelling at me to take her to the Vet even though he doesn't want me to.  He's a very confusing man to live with FYI.

Speaking of my husband, his work life is about to suck major.  Why you ask?  He works for a Toyota dealership.  Enough said, right?  Well, pretty much all Toyota dealerships in the US are extending their hours and his is no different.  We found out on Thursday night that they will be extending weekday hours from 7 pm to 9 pm, Saturday hours from 5 pm to 7 pm, and they will now be open on Sundays.  These extra hours are supposed to be only for the recalls, but I highly doubt they will turn away any other work they get during those hours.  My husband already works from 7 am until whenever he is able to leave, usually 5:30 to 6ish, with no lunch really.  This also affects his ability to take a week off when Weston is born.  The whole situation is pretty messed up right now, the correct parts haven't been sent to any dealerships for the most part, and up until early last week, they didn't even know how they were going to repair/replace the pedals.  I'm not going into that because I don't work for Toyota and I only know things based on my husbands job, but don't worry people, I drive a recalled car too.  I would highly recommend that anyone with a recalled car go to Don Davis Toyota and ask for my husband :).  I feel so safe and secure in my car because he works on it all the time.  He is one of the most honest, hard working people you will find in the car business.  He's not out to make a buck off people's ignorance unlike some people.  I'm not sure when I'll take my car in to get fixed, I rarely drive it so nothing will probably happen until we go to turn it in, but because we are about to have a baby, I should probably get on that.  On the plus side, it's completely free to the public so WOOHOO!  Anyways, I still stand behind Toyota, I have loved both that I have had.  I would urge the rest of the world to do the same since there are fixes for the problem now and there are many hard working techs (they don't like the name mechanic anymore), including my husband, who truly want to make things right.

Hmmm what else is pouring in my mind?  Ah yes, nesting!  Or at least that's what I'm calling it.  Or more my thoughts of nesting.  I say thoughts because I've been so exhausted and felt like such crap that its been hard for me to do much of anything lately.  On Saturday I did manage to get pretty much everything that doesn't belong to Weston out of his room.  Of course that just created more of a mess in other rooms, which made me feel like I actually accomplished nothing.  That's very depressing.  I made a huge list of stuff I wanted to get done this weekend and I was only able to cross off 7 things!  And I was so worn out Saturday I went to bed before 10pm.  I'm going to try to work on things throughout today and hope I can get more things crossed off, though I'm not hopeful.

It just ocurred to me

First, just incase all my fans (or my inflated ego, whichever) were worried, no I am no in the hospital giving birth to my son.  As far as I know, he's still hanging in there just fine and making his Momma (im)patiently wait.

Second, I tried a green smoothie a few weeks ago and never really told anyone about it.  They are great!  I have my whole family drinking them once a day, unless we miss because I'm tired/lazy.  I make them, so they are on my schedule.  Anyways, I've read several blogs where green smoothies are staples and I have to say, I can see why.  You get veggies without doing anything to them, and they taste like fruit!  I use about a cup of spinach, a cup of water, 6 oz of strawberries, and a banana to make our smoothies.  Based on all of the recipes I have found, we are missing one ingredient, ground flax seed.  I'm not sure what extra benefits that has, but I will be getting that probably this weekend and adding 2 tablespoons of that as well.  It is really good and tastes just like strawberries and bananas, you don't taste the spinach at all.  I really enjoy them and am trying to work 2 into my day, but just haven't yet.  The basic recipe makes about 4 cups of smoothie, so Victor and I have 2 cups a piece, or if my Mom is drinking some then we have a little less than 1.5 cups a piece.  I was really shocked that I liked them because I am so picky.  I blend the spinach and water first to avoid a super thick smoothie as I can't stand thick drinks (they make me gag), then I add the frozen strawberries, and then finally the banana.  It takes about 5 minutes and then we all get the wonderful benefits of spinach.  I really can't say enough about the green smoothies.  You should try them, your body will thank you!

Bad Idea. Good Idea.

After complaining in my blog yesterday about all of the things wrong with my house, I found myself extremely depressed and upset.  And it only got worse as the day drug on.  The worst part was that what started as a simple blog trying to document what needed to be done to my house, it turned extremely negative and crossed over into other areas of my life.  I know, that sounds so silly, but once I get into a funk, my WHOLE existience turns negative and I begin to seriously wallow in my misery.  So basically I started disliking my life, and that is NEVER a good thing. 

In reality, my life does not suck, as I was thinking yesterday.  However, there are areas where it definitely needs improvement, and that is my sole responsibility and something that I think I am looking forward to now that I finally have my head somewhat wrapped around my feelings and emotions.  There are always going to be areas that need improvement, but it would most definitely behoove me to not focus on the negative aspects of those areas, and instead figure out what I need to do to actually improve those areas.  It may take an hour, it may take a year, but the important part was the journey.  Don't you love how I'm getting all philisophical?!

I read a lot of blogs.  Seriously, what else is there for me to do when I'm at home on bedrest and have been so for 2 months?!  Anyways, the blogs I read are of very inspiring people who make me want to be a better person.  I want to get rid of our TVs and other non-important electronics and lead a simple life of reading and continual learning, but I really don't see my husband going for that.  So maybe that isn't exactly for me.  But, instead of sitting on the computer all day long and all night long, I need to engage with my husband and have actual meaninful conversations and do actual meaningful things.  We are about to have a son and I do not want him spending all of his time playing video games and watching TV.  I want him to learn great and wonderful things so he can contribute great and wonderful things to our society and improve it for my grandkids.  I also want to go to Church.  Of course that would entail finding a religion I am 100% behind, finding a Church I love, and actually getting my husband to go.  I technically have a religion, but I don't know if I am 100% behind it anymore.  I probably am, I just find the service boring.  I really feel that Church is something that is missing in my life, even though I will probably regret that thought when I can't sleep in on Sundays anymore :).

I feel like there are so many aspects of my life that need changes.  Maybe not huge changes, but changes nevertheless.  And right now it does seem daunting because I have no idea where to start at.  What will make the biggest impact?  What is the best for my family?  What will benefit my son the most?  What will bring me the most joy?  These are all questions I need to answer to feel complete about my decision(s).  So the first thing I'm doing is going to Half Price Books tomorrow morning and I'm going to buy books!  Lots of books!  Parenting books and organizing books and learning books and just BOOKS!  Can you tell I'm excited?!  I'm hoping that, as well as work, will pull me away from this stupid computer!  I sit at it day in and day out and I find myself depressed at the end of the day.  So I've had enough.  That's my first step, I'm backing away from the computer, at least a little bit.  I'm taking baby steps folks.  I'm also going to work on a daily schedule for myself, besides the one I have for cleaning, that will make me feel more productive and will help me in many other facets (reading! remember!) of my life.

I think the post from the other day was bad and good at the same time.  I know what I need to do to my house at the very least.  Plus, it opened my mind up and allowed me to realize that my life isn't as imperfect as I thought, but there are things I need to change.  And I can personally make those changes a reality, and that is great!  I only wish it wouldn't have dampened my spirits so much and allowed my bad mood to affect my husband, Mom, and animals.  I truly wish I could take that back, but I need to learn to learn...that is to learn from my mistakes because I am one of those that believes everything happens for a reason.  Basically, I needed to get depressed to see the error of my thinking and to change my thinking to something more productive.  Amen!

What's Bothering Me

Also known as projects around the house that NEED to get done sometime this century.  Ideally yesterday, but these things cost money and that's something we don't tend to have a whole lot of around here these days.  One more reason to never buy a fixer upper of a house that turns out to be way more of a fixer upper than you were lead to believe.

House Project List (and I'm sure I'll leave out 9 million things on accident)

• I still need blinds for 12 windows in this house.  3 of them are very large and very oddly shaped, so who knows how that is going to go.
• Install house numbers because the idiot head who previously owned the house ripped them down.
• Our driveway needs repair...it floods badly.  I think I am going to fix this by using gravel since it will be cheaper than having it completely redone.
• There are strange patio bricks laid in all sorts of wrong ways that look horrible on the remaining part of the driveway in the back that doesn't flood...they need to be removed.
• Our driveway is VERY tiny and needs to be widened.
• We need grass in the front yard.  We removed all of the ground cover so we are working on grass, its slowly coming around.
• There is a pile of mulch from last March when we had a huge dead tree uprooted, it needs to be spread over the entire front yard to help in the grass growing department.
• We need our dishwasher installed as we've been using our portable one from the old house and that will soon end due to the whole renting the house out thing.  This one is probably most important right now.
• Because this house was built in the 60s and never updated, the gas cooktop we took out did not require electricty to get it going (gas wouldn't even do that HA!), so we have a cord running to the plug and it is horribly ghetto.  We need to get that fixed somehow.
• Our master shower leaks sometimes if you don't angle the shower head just right.
• We need new flooring throughout this entire house.  The carpet is super cheap and a lot of stains started magically showing up once we moved in.  We've also contributed to the stains, don't get me wrong.
• We need tons of fencing.  The people who previously owned this house were nothing but stupid, no offense.  They used metal fencing and put it about 3 inches off the property line.  Our backyard/driveway is weird as well, so we need to extend fencing so we can fully use our property.
• We have 2 stroage buildings, both are full of the previous owners crap that they so kindly did not take with them.  We need to get those cleaned out somehow.
• Our roof is a disaster.  That is probably going to get fixed soon.  I was lied to and told it was completely replaced and it wasn't, naturally.  We have leaks and I want them gone!
• Our official backyard has no grass.  We can't let the dogs out there because of all the mud.  I don't really want a lot of grass to take care of, but I'm not sure what else to put back there.
• There is a fireplace in the livingroom that is completely randomly placed and makes using the room very complicated.  We want it knocked out.
• The bathtub in the guest bathroom does not have a stopper and it is missing a little cover so you can't take a bath in there.
• There is no light in our master closet.
• Idiot head took out the rods in the 2 closets in the nursery and the hall closet.
• We need oven racks as they saw it necessary to take those as well.  We have been using a Pampered Chef cookie sheet.  The ovens are small so you can't just go buy one that easy.
• When they were "remodeling," they closed up the dryer vent to the outside...we have fuzz all over our laundry room.  I don't know how to really fix this issue.
• We need a ceiling fan hung in our bedroom.
• We need new countertops in the kitchen and bathrooms because when they painted the house, the idiots didn't cover anything...I'm assuming they were going to do more but he's an idiot.
• We also need a new backsplash in the kitchen for the same reason.

This doesn't even take into account the tons of things we have already done ourselves or hired someone to do.  I think our goal now is to get the house in decent condition so when the market changes we can get out of here!  We change our minds on this a lot, but I think the final straw came when the leak started Thursday night during the rain.  My husband has never been so pissed in his life.  Most of the above needs to be done before we can sell this house period, or at least sell it and expect to make any money out of it.  We got a good deal for the neighborhood, but I don't think we got such a great deal on the house overall.  Oh well, at least we will have something to keep us busy around here at all times :).

A Day in the Life of

It may not be interesting, but it sure is hard.  OK, maybe it isn't hard either, but when your 8 months pregnant and have been on bedrest going on 2 months now, lifting your head out of bed is a huge challenge, let alone taking care of 2 sweet but completely crazy dogs, 4 mostly wonderful cats, and the daily tasks that need to be done in ones house.  I think I may be feeling sorry for myself, but I just wrote out a chore chart and no wonder...I'm going to be doing pretty much everything around here and it seems like my husband just isn't appreciative of what I do.  Ah men, can't live with them, can sometimes live without them.

In a typical day over the course of this bedrest thing, I get out of bed sometime before 9.  I get dressed in cleaning clothes as I like to call them and turn the computer on and text my husband good morning.  I then take the dogs out to use the facilities, which is a huge task because Rocky needs to number 2 before he can eat, but sometimes he doesn't feel like doing that until I bring him back inside, pour food in his bowl, and sit down.  Anyways, I feed the dogs, water the cats, and make my smoothie for breakfast.  Then I sit down and check my email and email my Mom to let her know that I'm alive.  As you can tell, I'm not a big phone person, even to those I love.  Anywhere from 10-20 minutes later I take the dogs back out to use the facilities and I either start working on actual work, or obsessively check for emails from work to see what they need me to do.  That pretty much goes on throughout the entire day as that is how I roll.  I will take the dogs out a million more times because they can never make up their minds as to what they need to do out there.  I will also try to wash at least a load of dishes and clothes, though sometimes that just doesn't happen.  If I'm feeling extra spunky I may try to organize a particular spot in our house, though sometimes that doesn't happen either.  Occasionally I will attempt to take a nap, but only sleep for about 20 minutes.  This usually happens sometime around 2pm.  I also try not to move around a lot during the day for 2 reasons.  First, bedrest, duh!  Second, if the dogs are sleeping, well you just let those lay because Lord knows what they will want once they are awoken.  As of late, I also am making dinner so that starts happening sometime around the end of the afternoon, depending on when the rest of the family is going to be home.

You also have to throw in doctors appointments every Wednesday, possibly other days as well.  And the constant worry about my son and if he is OK and if I will be a good Mom.  Now add in a roof leak and trying to get that repaired when we don't have the money and now I'm extra stressed out.  I know I don't do a lot, but boy what I do have to do just doesn't seem easy, ever.

I wonder what life is going to be like with a newborn?  My husband is taking the week off right after he is born and my Mom is taking the next week to 2 weeks off, and then I'm on my own.  I don't know how I will manage since I've never been around children before.  I'm sure I'll figure it out, but the thought of it makes my eye twitch sometimes.

Our Menu - Week of 2/1/2010

I am very happy to report that we did not eat dinner out once last week!  While we never got to the potato soup, and we aren't this week, we had food for every day and it was quite nice.  Our only problem is the oodles of leftovers.  But, I guess that is what we have dogs for :).  As always, for more great menus, head on over to Org Junkie for other Menu Plan Monday participants.

This week is overly simple as I am getting more and more exhausted, and we aren't sure that I won't be induced on Wednesday, or sooner.

Monday: Our own version of goulash we call hamburger mac & tomatoes with my Mom's cheese toast and a a salad.

Tuesday: Shake n' Bake pork chops (we love those if you couldn't tell) with broccoli and fried potatoes (we are making mashed potates as well for my husband, but that's a surprise).

Wednesday: Hot dogs and brats (for the hubby) with french fries and corn.

Thursday: Leftover manicotti for Victor, spaghetti for my Mom and I with garlic cheese bread and a salad.

Friday: Biscuits and gravy with bacon and eggs.

Like I said, we are keeping it very simple and having mostly family staples.  The less work I have to do this week, the better.

Uncomfortable

I have been terribly uncomfortable the last few days, and extremely exhausted as well.  As I'm sure you can see where I'm leading to, we haven't done much the last few days.  Actually, I take that back.  My Mom busted her butt working on her room/storage yesterday after she got home from work.  I have completely cleaned out our 2 closets in our room and the bathroom is cleaned and organized...somewhat.  The dogs also got baths today.  And now my bedroom floor and actual bed are a disaster.  I found tons of sheets that I'm going to use as cleaning cloths and/or burprags, so they need to be washed.  I also found quite a few towels that need to be folded and put up.  But I tuckered out.  And so did the rest of the family.  I'm really hoping I have tons and tons of energy tomorrow to work on some stuff around the house because its driving me crazy!

On the plus side, we did get our grocery shopping done this morning.  But, someone stole some diapers out of our cart before we made it to the checkout and I didn't realize it until then and I was not about to go get some more.  I also bought a lot of items I'll need at the hospital and I worked on packing the diaper bag a bit.  I ordered some stuff off of Wal Mart a few weeks ago using the site to store option, so I'm waiting for that stuff to get in as well.  Anyways, all of this means that I have all my food for the week and I will be here posting my menu plan in a bit.  We went super simple this week as I'm exhausted and we aren't sure what the doctor is going to say on Wednesday.

Just a little update so everyone knows I'm still alive.  Alive, but uncomfortable and exhausted.

A Plan

It just ocurred to me.  We have been rearranging and "organzing" all willy-nilly in this house, and while it has worked somewhat, we are down to needing a plan!  Yes, I thought it was a novel concept to for I am that smart!  I originally decided I didn't want to plan things out because that was to static for me and I wanted the freedom to do super easy things since I am on bedrest and really shouldn't be doing hard manual labor.  However, I have come to realize that maybe my plan to not plan was not so smart.  Why you ask?  Well, because I really don't know where we are at with everything.  And that my friends is a waste of time.

So sitting here reading some of my favorite organizing blogs (Org Junkie and The Lazy Organizer) it finally dawned on me that I do in fact need a plan.  Maybe a plan isn't for everyone, but as you may have guessed, I am a planner.  I really should actually get a job in some type of planning field (event, wedding, personal, etc.) as I thrive in those situations.  Anyways, I have decided I need a definite plan for EACH room in the house.  We have a lot of little things left to do in each room, and even some big things, but I won't know about them, or remember them if I don't write them down in To-Do List form because that's how I roll.

Theoretically I want everything done before Weston gets here, but I don't really see that happening.  So I need to focus on his room first.  Which is very hard for me because I don't go in there very often so I really haven't been able to assess what is needed in there.  I think once someone gets home tonight, or maybe 2 someones, I am going to go in there and look around and write down every single little thing that has to be done before a baby can inhabit the room.  Which is really kind of annoying since he won't be sleeping in there for awhile, he will be in with us, but whatever, it's the right thing to do. 

By elimination, that means OUR room has to be done next since he WILL be living in there a lot.  Our room is almost done, but there are tons of clothes that need to be hung up and the bathroom really needs to be cleaned and organized.  Then there is our extra closet which is full of bedding crap that will probably bite it, or get turned into dish towels.  I also need to get some lights for the closet.  And we need a curtain or something for the freaking ginormous window that is right by where I sleep.  I hate light when I sleep and the dogs keep ripping down our ghetto fix...an old sheet.  So yes, these things must be done.

Next up is the living room.  This one has to be done because this is where we, as a family, hang out the most.  I am sure I will have Weston chilling with me in the living room, so everything must be in its proper place and there has to be room for all his fun swings and bouncy things to keep him happy.

Next comes the new office because I will spend time here a lot once he is born as well.  Right now it has turned into a catchall because I didn't have a plan.  See how this has backfired on me quite a bit.  There is tons of crap in here, most of it from my car and from my office since they were moving right as I was put on bedrest so I thought ahead and brought all of my stuff home so no one would have to move it.  Nevermind the fact that its been out in my car since December 7th (and earlier for a lot of the stuff), its in the house now.  I want to setup an effective working system in here, doesn't that sound exciting?

Next will be the kitchen/place to eat.  This one stresses me out.  This is probably the one I am dreading the most because I know a lot of things need to be moved around.  I need an effective cooking space and effective storage and right now I have neither.  This goes along with getting our lovely dishwasher installed so we won't be using the portable one anymore.  I would like everything cleaned up and in its proper place before that happens though.  Also, does anyone need glasses.  We have enough for a family of 20, so if you need some, I know the perfect place to get them.  I wonder how things like that happen anyways?

So there, I now have a plan for a plan (HA).  I will start writing my plan tonight and who knows when it will actually go into working mode.  I guess that all depends on the results of tomorrows appointment.  But, at least I will have a plan of attack for each room and people can do things for me, or if not, then once I am back home with my son, I can work on the plan while he is sleeping and I am not awestruck by him...on second thought, everything better go well tomorrow so we can all get our butts in gear, none of us will do anything once he's here, I just know it.

Beef Manicotti

I should probably change the title to the Beef Manicotti and make it turkey as that is what I used.  I was trying to healthy it up a bit.  First off let me tell you, I did not TOUCH the stuff.  I made it for my husband mostly, and my mother to try.  I don't eat marinara or spaghetti sauce, I can't stand it, it has too many spices.  I prefer plain tomatoes with some salt on them, but that is neither here nor there.

My husband loved the manicotti, my Mom didn't and she wasn't shy about letting me know (I'm trying to let go of this, I'm not succeeding as you can tell).  My biggest complaint was the sheer amount of time it took to do this.  Also, I got dirty and I am not a fan of that.  Stuffing the meat and cheese mixture into the manicotti noodles was the worst part, and the most time consuming.  Since this was my first go at it, I expected it to take awhile.  And now that I know what is involved, I can plan my day accordingly and make everything in steps, which was my original plan, but I had no idea it would take that long to make.

Overall I was pleased with the results.  My husband really liked it and it looked yummy (except for the tomato sauce of course) and cheesy and gooey!  I have 7 more stuffed noodles in the freezer, so I'll make that for him at some point in the near future.  I will probably make this again, but not too often since he is the only one that will eat it.

Low Fluid I hate Thee

I had my weekly checkup this morning...it did not go very well.  I now get weekly sonograms to monitor the fluid level as I have been having issues with that as of late.  It is related to the blood pressure issue, naturally.  My fluid level was down to 6.5, with 5 being the lowest it can go before they induce.  I have another appointment on Friday due to this discovery, and depending on what we find out, Weston may be here sooner than we were anticipating.  I'm depressed about this because I've tried everything I can to relax, stay hydrated, and rest.  As I've told Victor, it makes me feel like a bad Mom because my body is doing this to my son.  I really hope my fluid level goes back up and we have some more time to prepare.  I haven't packed my bag yet, nor do I have everything I need for Weston.  I don't even have things to put in the diaper bag yet, which is sad, I know.

Victor and I came home and he started back up on my nesting for me :).  We have completely rearranged 4 rooms in the house, as well as set up the majority of the nursery in the last 3 weeks.  I mainly supervise, which probably sucks big time for him since I'm bossy and hard to please.  I think he's somewhat used to this by now though.  I love the new layout of all the rooms.  I'm so smart when it comes to those things, not to blow my own horn or anything.  I think he is secretly really pleased as well, he just hates admitting it.  We are hoping to have Weston's room complete by this Sunday, but who knows if that will get done.

I just wanted to post an update.  I'm not in a very good mood right now, so other updates won't come until tomorrow or so.  I'm really in a funk, which I've been fighting for weeks and its really just gotten the best of me.

Nervous

I am absolutely petrified right now.  Of child birth and of being a Mommy.  I have no idea what I am getting myself into.  I'm excited but scared.  I plan on going all natural for several reasons.  I'm not so afraid of the contractions as I am of the pushing and actual birth.  I think that will be extremely painful.

When I'm nervous, I make lists.  Here is my list of things I need to pack:

• chapstick
• tennis ball and other massaging instruments
• hairbands
• socks
• toothbrush and small tube of toothpaste
• conditioner (shampoo dries my hair out really bad, so I only use it sparingly) in a travel size container
• body soap in a travel size container
• washcloth
• face wash
• deodorant
• my own towels
• my own pillow(s)
• some type of sleep mask
• camera and charger
• video camera with extra tapes and charger
• ipod and accesories
• laptop?
• nursing bras
• nursing PJs and comfortable pant bottoms
• nursing pillow
• nursing cover
• cream for the boobs
• nursing pads
• baby book
• dermoplast/epicream
• tucks pads
• depends?
• under garments
• going home outfit
• list of people to notify about the birth
• cell phone and charger
• notepad and pen
• thank you cards?

I'm also making Victor download the contraction master application for his iphone.  Because when I'm nervous, I plan.  Obsessively.  I tend to get this kind of nervous after I hang out with my friend who has two beautiful little girls.  For some reason being with a baby scares me!  I remember leaving the hospital after my Mom and visited her when her second daughter was born back in early November and being so stressed out I started crying.  I was just so overwhelmed and scared for what I was about to experience.  And the way I deal with this is to plan and make lists and act like a neurotic freak.  Such is the life of me!

Raspberry Chipotle Pork Tenderloin

This is an awesome recipe!  I am a very picky eater, and I'm not a fan of pork (except bacon because HELLO its bacon), so I was very hesitant to try this when someone from work brought it in as a healthy lunch option for our exercise group.  I'm also not a fan of spicy food, even though I am from Texas... I know it doesn't make sense.  This is a really simple and yummy recipe, great for a family.  The best part, it uses the crockpot.  You can do this for 4 hours or 8 and it tastes just the same and falls apart just as easily.  Without further adieu:

Raspberry Chipotle Pork Tenderloin

Ingredients:

• Medium sized pork tenderloin, whatever will feed your family.
• 1.5 cups bottled raspberry chipotle sauce, you can get this anywhere and any brand works
• Garlic Salt
• Pepper
• .5 cup water

Method:

• Coat all sides of pork tenderloin in garlic salt and pepper.
• Place in slow cooker.
• Pour 1 cup of the raspberry chipotle sauce over the tenderloin.
• Pour .5 cup water over the pork tenderloin and sauce.
• Cook for 4 or 8 hours, depending on your preference.
• Once done, pour the additional .5 cup of raspberry chipotle sauce over the pork.
• Serve and enjoy!

This is one of the easiest recipes known to man, and if I can do it, anyone can because I am so not a cook :).  If you try this, let me know if you liked it.  Happy cooking!

Our Menu - Week of 1/25/2010

Woohoo, it's finally time to post our first official week of menus.  I'm very excited as is my family, we are really sick of eating out.  For other great recipes and menus, Org Junkie is where this is all coming from :).

Monday: Shake n' Bake pork chops, blue box (my favorite) mac & cheese, and broccoli.

Tuesday: Turkey & cheese manicotti (using an adapted Food Network recipe) with salad and garlic cheese bread.

Wednesday: Raspberry chipotle pork tenderloin done in the slow cooker, fried potatoes, and green beans.

Thursday: Slow cooker pot roast with carrots and potatoes and rice.

Friday: Spud Special Soup with yeast rolls.

Saturday: Leftovers!

I really hope everything goes according to plan, I'm very excited that we are doing this!  I'm really stretching my comfort zone by cooking a lot of this stuff, but I'm hoping its the start of many new habits in this household.

Plastic Bag Bliss

I'm in a blogging mood.  Mainly because I am so excited about things going on in my life right now.

Anyways, I don't know about you, but we tend to keep the bazillion plastic bags we get when we go to the grocery store, or any store really.  We then use them to take our lunches, scoop cat litter, carry random things, etc.  Except, there was a huge organizational problem.  All the bags were just getting thrown on the floor in the pantry.  We are talking several years worth of plastic bags, because of course they move with us!  It's been driving me batty, it was so nasty and tacky looking and clutter-y and just rage inducing really.  I was complaining to my Mom about this and she took awesome initiative and got the box her space heater came in and loaded all of the plastic bags into it!  She put all of the paper bags into a huge plastic bag we had as well.  I took all of the paint cans outside.  These were leftover from the idiot previous owner, and they too were driving me batty.  So now we have a nice clean, organized pantry floor and it is truly a thing of beauty.  It really made me feel great and refreshed!

I'm telling you, these organizing people are right...it's a great high!

Sunday?!

Can this weekend really be almost over?  We have been semi productive this weekend, with today being the best day yet!  My Mom has really been working on her room a lot today.  There is a storage room where she sleeps at and when we moved her in, we just piled tons and tons of crap in there because we didn't have time to go through everything.  Well, now is the time.  I guess I've inspired her through all of the organization I've been trying to do in the rest of the house. 

It's so refreshing when things are picked up and clutter is cleared.  It really does make you want to do more and more.  My only issue is, there isn't much I can do right now because we are doing a big room rearranging on Wednesday.  We are completely switching the living room layout and moving the dining room table into the breakfast nook, and making the dining room the office.  This really is going to be the most efficient layout for us and I am so excited to get it done!  I know Victor isn't looking forward to this task, but I'm sure he will be so happy with the outcome...even if he can't see the TV while he eats dinner now :).

My Mom and I went grocery shopping yesterday morning at Super Target, so I will be back later with my Menu Plan Monday stuff, which I am very excited about.  I'm a little nervous at all of the cooking since I tend to really crave fast food when we setup menus, but this is truly for the best.  We need to stop eating out and wasting tons of money on groceries.  We aren't branching out too much with our menu, but it will be a challenge :).

On that note, I'm going to skidaddle for now.  I'm quite tired and need to get the dining room table cleared off for dinner (that Victor is bringing home...from Wendys, last night I promise!).

Slacker!

Well, at least on a personal front.  I've been doing a lot of work the past few days, so I haven't gotten to do a lot of the personal stuff I'd like to.  I'm also physically and mentally drained, so I've been having a hard time doing things, working is really taking its toll, especially now that I am having such a hard time to sleep.

So, no I did not get the Meal Plan Monday thing done.  We did sit down and write out a menu, but I have not made it to the grocery store yet!  Which obviously means the Try it Tuesday did not happen as I had no ingredients for my green smoothie.  I'm irritated by all of this, but I just have to get over it.  Life happens, a lot, so I need to look at the positives and not dwell on what I feel I missed out on.

In some very awesome and great news, we rented the house out today!  I'm still apprehensive since no contract has been signed yet, but that is happening on Friday and we will be getting half of the deposit then and the remaining the following Friday.  You have no idea how thrilled I am with this.  It gives us a lot of direction and clarity within our lives as we now don't have the burden of that house hanging over us.  Our new tenants will be moving in at the end of February/beginning of March.  Is that ideal?  Not really, but I'm excited that we have a renter, and from what I've heard, they sound pretty awesome.  They will be doing any and all repairs themselves, which is a huge relief to us.  I haven't officially met them since I try to stay home and relax as much as possible, but that will change on Friday.  I have a lot to do, lease agreement wise, between now and then, so wish me luck :).  I'm thinking about asking my friend for some assistance since she is quite the expert.  I really am just so darn excited.

In other exciting, but not nearly as monumental, news, we rearranged our bedroom today.  OK, I mainly did nothing and Victor did everything, but that's how it goes when you are pregnant.  It looks awesome!  It works so much better for us and the room actually seems bigger.  Of course we have 2 huge kennels in there for the dogs, but we can't do anything about that.  I still have a lot of stuff to pick up and sort in there, but I will get to it in due time.  Next up is the living room and dining room.  We are making huge changes in these 2 areas!  Since Victor will actually have the whole day off next Wednesday, those arrangments will be done then.  I am so excited, you have no idea.  I finally figured out a layout that works for our house.  We won't be using the dining room as a dining room anymore, it will become the new office.  We have a rather big breakfast nook, so our table will be moving in there.  This will be especially beneficial once Weston begins eating solids.  The carpet would be utterly ruined so being on tile will be a lot better.  Plus it just seems natural :).  I will still have a lot of placement to figure out, but I will get it done.

The next 2 days will still be pretty busy for me.  As I said, the end of January is a very busy time in my particular field, and we get everything done a week out, which means Friday everything has to be done.  I'm helping as much as possible, hence the tons of work I've been trying to do the last couple of days.  I won't be here much, and I probably won't be getting a lot of personal stuff done, but the following week should be much better and things should flow much better.  I am really looking forward to the coming weeks as we start really preparing our my baby boy to get here.

Update

Yes, it's me, live and all fleshy like.  Todays appointment went great!  My fluid level was back up to 10, which is great!  And, my blood pressure was 114/76 which is even greater!  I don't have to back until next Wednesday woohoo!  I'm sure my doctor would have preferred that I come in next Monday, but it is so much easier on Wednesdays since my husband is off work on that day.  Anyways, I am so thrilled and my baby boy gets to cook another week!  He was so cute on the sonogram.  He had his foot up right by his face and it was a perfect foot picture!  He also had his hands around his face.  It was his sleepy time so he was irritated that the sonogram tech kept poking at him...just like his Momma.  They didn't tell me how his weight was measuring, but I'm sure everything is going great.  He's such a trooper and I can't wait to meet him, in due time of course.

I will be back later tonight with our menu plan.  I'd like to plan it out with Victor since, you know, he eats the food too.  My Mom told us to pick the food since she can always find something to eat.  I'm going to try and be concious of her needs, but its so hard, we are a weird eating family.  But I'm really going to try and branch us out in the food department as I think that will encourage us actually eating at home as opposed to eating fast food.

Also, I'm going to be trying something new, green smoothies.  I need a lot more veggies and what better way than mixed with fruit where you can't really taste 'em :).  I'm looking for a good recipe right now, so I'll let you know.  There is a feature on a blog out there called Try it Tuesday, so maybe I'll do that tomorrow!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is my appointment.  To say I am nervous is an understatement.  I'm terrified of what I will be told.  At least its early in the morning so I won't be dreading it all day long.  Hopefully I will get the news that my fluid level, if it did nothing else, at least stayed the same and did not go any lower.  I'm praying for that, I really am.  My son needs to stay inside a few more weeks!

With all of this in mind, I was going to take part in a thing called Menu Plan Monday from the Org Junkie website, but because I don't know if I will be coming home tomorrow, I didn't really think there was a point.  If I do get good news tomorrow, I will come home and try to get a menu lined up for the week so grocery shopping can be done.  And then I will take part in all of that fun.

I need to have an early night and relax as much as possible, especially considering I maybe got 3 total hours of sleep last night.  I don't really know what the issue is.  I came and laid out on the couch sometime after 1 because the dogs had taken up my whole side of the bed and I was tired of fighting with them.  Then 2 of my cats decided they needed to sleep on me, which didn't really bother me, but the couch was just not very comfortable.  Since my Mom went in to work at 5 this morning, once she left, I went and laid in her room where her cat proceeded to lay on me (a miracle because that cat is not nice to anyone), which again didn't bother me, but I just could not stay asleep.  I am desperate for some rest, especially since I know I won't get a lot once Weston is here.

Anyways, I was just checking in...I really hope I'm back tomorrow with a good report.

Much Better

I just wanted to let everyone (ok, my Internet ego!) know that after my horrible venting session yesterday, I had a fabulous evening with my Mom and husband.  Sure I ate too much, and maybe didn't drink quite enough water, but I had a fabulous time with them and laughed like I haven't laughed in awhile.

My Mom brought us dinner and we all ate and enjoyed each others company.  Afterwards, my Mom and I put the stroller and carseat together.  We still have a little bit to do, but its mostly ready for Mr. Weston.  We somehow got to talking about The Longest Yard so after dinner we popped that in and had a laughing good time.  My Mom had never seen the newest version and she really enjoyed it.  I'm sure laughing helped me out, even if I didn't end up sleeping  well at night.

Just wanted to let everyone know that even though I'm still upset and worried, my family is truly awesome and I really appreciated the time I spent with them last night.

Frustration

I have had an extremely frustrating week, and unfortunately it isn't getting any better.  I'm trying to look on the bright side and stay positive, for my son's sake, but it is so incredibly hard.

Monday and Tuesday were hectic and felt overloaded to me.  I take most everything in my life entirely way too seriously, which is why I was originally hesitant to agree to work from home.  It has nothing to do with the people or the work, it has to do with the insane amount of pressure I place on myself.  I feel like I have to get every single thing done that is put in front of me, even if that isn't what others are actually expecting of me (they may like that, but know it probably isn't possible).  It is an extremely busy time of the year in my particular profession and obviously my company is short handed due to my bedrest.  I feel horrible about that and stress myself out about it constantly, so to somewhat try and compensate, anything that is sent to me, I usually try to complete and will work quite awhile to do so, which I shouldn't be doing.

Then move ahead to Wednesday.  My appointment wasn't until 10:50 and Victor's work made him work that morning (his day off) due to a shortage of people.  He had told them he had to be out of there no later than 10:15 so he could pick me up and take me to my appointment.  While I was waiting on him, I got up and worked some.  Things were just not going my way and it felt like everything I touched was messing up, so that naturally frustrated me.  I've also been having horrible phone troubles so I didn't receive his text message a little before 10:30 saying he was just now cleaning up to leave.  So I waited and waited, and finally got up and got ready and left on my own... later than I should have.  So I was late to my appointment, I got there at 10:50 and that's when my sonogram was scheduled, so I was pushed back and Victor (who met me up there, not 5 minutes after I got there) and I waited for quite some time.

We got our sonogram and everything was fine, or so I thought.  Apparently my fluid levels are on the very low end of OK.  But, of course you know that wouldn't be the only problem.  My blood pressure was elevated again, in the 140s, so that of course raised a lot of flags.  Unfortunately, my doctor wasn't there, he was at a conference, so I was seen by the nurse practioner who also consulted with the doctor on call for mine.  They decided I needed to do another 24 urine analysis (my 3rd one!) and I had to come back in this morning for another sonogram and blood pressure check.  My fluid level was at 8 (I really don't know what that means) and anything between 5 and 25 is normal, but because low fluid is a side effect of high blood pressure problems, they are starting to get concerned.

This morning, my Mom and I made it to the appointment...which we waited and waited as usual.  We got the sonogram and then I had my blood pressure checked and it was back down to normal, but my fluid level has gone down to a 7.  This is so incredibly frustrating for me because I did exactly as they said and tried to stay as hydrated as possible.  I literally drank at least 2 gallons of water yesterday and a gallon Wednesday after we finally got home from the appointment.  My doctor wants me back in bright and early Monday morning for another songoram and visit.  I was told I may have to start coming in twice a week as well.

I am so utterly depressed about this.  I'm scared as well.  I know if I get below 5 they will probably want me to deliver and if my pattern keeps up like it did this week, that will be by next Wednesday.  I'll only be 34 weeks at that point, and that is still just entirely way too early for my son to be born.  I guess the only thing I can do is relax as much as possible this weekend and continue drinking a billion gallons of water, and pray for the best outcome possible.  All of this just makes me feel like a terrible Mom already, and I feel helpless as well.

Add on to all of this that we are in the process of trying to rent out our other house, and I'm frazzled to the bone.  I've received a billion calls and we've had 4 families tell us they are VERY interested, but I haven't received any calls back so now I'm starting to stress out about that again.  This really just hasn't been my week :).

Here's to a relaxing and peaceful weekend.  I'm very hopeful that things take a turn for the better and that my son stays as healthy as possible!

Its been a few days...

I really haven't felt so great the last few days.  I didn't get hardly any of my To-Do List for Sunday done as I just felt like crap.  Also, we had a nursing class from 1:30 to 4:30 and towards the end of class I started getting a really bad headache and just feeling bad overall, so I came home and rested for about 2 hours.  Monday I woke up dizzy and felt that way for the better part of the morning, so I only managed to work and then take a nap in the afternoon.  So, in other words, I haven't done much of anything.  I'm hoping tomorrow will be different, but my day will be all sorts of choppy due to a doctors appointment and then a few appointments showing the house for prospective renters.

We met with a couple tonight who seem really promising.  I've had several no shows and that irritates me to no end.  I don't care if you have no interest, don't say you will come if you aren't going to...huge pet peeve of mine.  Also, being late, don't even bother.  Anyways, I'm really hopeful regarding this couple.  Things seemed promising and they were at the house for well over 30 minutes.  But I'm not going to get my hopes up.  We have 3 appointments scheduled for tomorrow, all towards the end of the day.  I'm not looking forward to this, it wracks my nerves more than you could know.  My phones been ringing off the hook and I hate phones, so it takes everything I have to actually pick up the phone...sad, I know, but such is the life of me.

I don't have too much to say considering how unproductive I've been the past few days.  I get my sonogram tomorrow, so hopefully I'll have tons of interesting information to pass on to everyone.  Until the, I bid you a fond farewell :).

Sunday's Tasks

If you read my profile, I am obsessed with To-Do Lists... I love them!!!  I may never cross things off (stupid, right?!), but I adore making them.  And many times, I get overly detailed, but that is in hopes of crossing off tons of little things that eventually add up to a big thing.  So to indulge my obsession, I'm going to have a little "feature" on this here blog detailing some sort of To-Do List.  Without further ado:

Sunday, January 10th To-Do List

• Clean out clothes closet and get rid of all unworn clothes
• Find container for baking products in pantry
• Vacuum nursery
• Get all dishes washed
• File all miscellaneous papers
• Assess items in closets in nursery and figure out where things are going
• Create a weekly menu plan for this upcoming week (this includes looking for recipes and creating a shopping list)
• Wash towels
• Wash underclothes and whites
• Get my car completely cleaned out, backseat and trunk
• Create Receipts Folder
• *Hopefully* get our office completely setup the way I want it!

Yes, this is extremely over ambitious, and I'm sure not 100% of this will get done.  This is especially so because I have to count on either my husband or my Mom to do some of this stuff as I am unable due to bedrest.  But, these things have to get done before Weston makes his appearance, so why not get them on my list now :)!

And, on a final note I am so incredibly happy the Cowboys won!  Makes me so proud to be a Texan and a Cowboys fan :).

The perils of owning two homes

Yes, I am an idiot who owns two homes.  While this may not be bad for some, it hasn't worked out that well for me.  Of course, my first renter was my Mom and she moved in right after we bought our second house, a little over a year ago.  Now we are trying to find renters because I just don't think I could sell this house right now.  It's a great little house, but there are a few things that need to be done that I just don't think we could swing.  But, who knows, some of those things may need to be done before we are able to rent the house out even.

We have a prospect coming over tonight *hopefully* between 5:30 and 5:45.  This is the first person to look at the house, mainly because I am lazy and the whole house stressed me out.  I guess this would be a side note, but here's something about me... when I stress about something my natural reaction is to completely avoid it at all costs.  You can see how this is probably not a good thing.

Anyways, last Friday my Mom and husband went over and painted the one bedroom that was in desperate need of painting (mainly because I ran out of the brown color I originally painted it and there was a spot, so it needed to go back to white).  I posted an ad on Craigslist and we have this lady coming by tonight.  We were supposed to meet up Monday, then Tuesday, then Wednesday, and finally today.  Hopefully this just gets done and over with.  I really hope she wants the house.  That would relieve so much pressure off of all of us.

My Mom stuck a For Rent sign out on the lawn today with my phone number on it.  You have no idea how nervous this makes me.  I hate phones, I don't even really like talking to people I know on phones.  So this is a huge stressor for me.  But if we can quickly rent the house out, then no harm no foul I suppose.

Word to the wise, only own 2 homes if you know what you are doing...